Father with sleep apnea problem

by Sleep Father

My father has been suffering from sleep apnea for more than 5 years now and he refuses to get any treatment. He tried to go to a sleeping lab to get monitored but he left in the middle of the sleep study and got frustrated.

He is also overweight however, he is not a smoker. Since diagnosed with obstructive sleep apnea, he has been extremely nervous and it has been affecting his work and personal life greatly.

Please advice with any tips that might help in improving his case bearing in mind that he is very depressed and refuses to get any treatment.

Thanks in advance

Answer

Your father knows he has sleep apnea, but he refuses to get any treatment...How can a doctor help a patient who doesn't want to be helped? How can you help your father?

A man with sleep apnea and clinical depression is more difficult to treat than a woman with the same problem.

I think that when a man is in denial about a serious health problem, he is actually really scared:

• scared of dying,


• scared of people staring when the side of his face droop after a stroke,


• scared of not being able to protect and provide for their partner and family (our culture socializes boys into taking on those expectations, girls are socialized to be caring, creative and nurturing...obviously a controversial issue)

A lot of men don't like to admit a sign of weakness, and also they may associate CPAP with elderly men, and they don't want to be reminded that they are aging.

If you say that your father went to a sleep study but he left in the middle of the session, then it sounds like your father knows something about his sleep apnea, but does he know that it can kill him?

I don't want to worry you anymore than you already are, so please don't take this as that. My friend's dad had sleep apnea, and loathed his CPAP machine so much that if his mother wasn't paying attention, he would take it off, and he suffered a heart attack and died from doing so.

If you haven't already, try explaining that to him, and how it would make you feel if that happened. The CPAP treatment is the best for sleep apnea patients. Maybe the machine will seem less irritating if he knows that it will save his life.

I wonder if your father knows the side effects of untreated sleep apnea, which are severe and systemic. Some of them are:

• increased risk of heart attack and stroke


• increased blood pressure


• heart arrhythmias


• nocturia (because the increased pressure in the right heart ventricle makes the body think there is too much blood volume so urine is produced)


• headaches


• excessive fatigue and daytime sleepiness


• memory and concentration problems


• weight gain(sleep deprivation causes weight gain for several physiological reasons, one being the alteration of the hormones leptin and ghrelin)


• diabetes type 2


• there is a link between sleep apnea and GERD


• night sweats


• depression


• anxiety (each apnea event is a true suffocation and elicits the "Fright or Flight" adrenaline response)


• Fibromyalgia-like symptoms


• impotence


• relationship and job issues


• car accidents

I want to tell you that CPAP therapy is the key for a healthy life for your father, without depression and obesity, and the rest of the side effects of sleep apnea. However, I think that your father doesn't want to talk about it.

I believe he's going through the stages most everyone does when they face a loss. In your case I think it's his loss of what he considers good health or freedom and is now tied to this for life. And I think the "for life" thing really bothers him.

This CPAP thing is important, and for some it's extremely difficult to adjust to. But it breaks my heart to see the affects of non-compliant CPAP users, and what it does to their loved ones. Often it's just because the person doesn't know or realize what affect it has on them.

I wonder if it would help if you speak with the doctor on your own, then he met with the doctor on his own. He might be more receptive to the doctor's words.

I would also recommend bumber belt to improve his obstructive sleep apnea, but it only works for patients with mild or moderate sleep apnea. Your father may have severe symptoms, and if he will see that positional therapy doesn't work, he can be more depressed than before.

So, a complete sleep study and CPAP therapy is the answer for your question. There is no other magic way, and is dangerous to search for alternative treatments when your father is already affected by depression.

An alternative treatment may work for some, but CPAP always work if your father have the right pressure settings (that's why he needs the sleep study), and the right mask (he needs to test many CPAP masks before buying one).

As difficult as sleep apnea is, there are worse things that can happen to ones health. He really does need a reality check, and I do hope things work out for you.

Good luck!
Remy